Gucci officially kicked off Milan Fashion Week today with a show straight out of the Twilight Zone. And Game of Thrones. And How to Make a Murderer. With unibrows. And babushkas. Seriously, even by the standards with which we have all come to judge Gucci, this fashion show was weird as fuck. In a good way. Mostly. I don’t know. There’s a lot to take in and unpack here, so let’s just take it one (wonderfully?) fucked-up step at a time, shall we?
1. The runway was set up like an operating room.
However, the overall effect was less “sterile hospital room” and more “creepy hidden bunker where sociopathic surgeons conduct human experiments with black ops funding provided by the US government.” You know what I mean.
2. Models carried their own severed heads.
Not all the models, mind you — that would be excessive — just these two. They look like they haven’t see the sun in years, but that’s life in the bunker for you! I can’t help wondering if those heads might not also be bags. I don’t know. Probably best not to think about it too much. Let’s just move on.
3. Crystal nipple pasties were paired with a colorful knit mask.
Very los-luchadores-meets-Gatsby-meets-high-school-track-and-field. With Bangles! That’s a thing, right? Well, if it wasn’t before, it is now!
4. There were a lot of references to the New York Yankees.
Maybe Alessandro Michele is a baseball fan?
5. One model wore a pagoda on her head.
Um, OK.
6. Then this happened.
7. And this.
8. This guy looked like a straight-up serial killer.
It’s like Norman Bates and Little Edie had a son.
Shifty-eyed mofo. He is definitely on the prowl for his next victim.
9. There was a baby dragon.
Game of Thrones, anyone?
10. A native American Kachina doll made an appearance.
This look is hot off the res. Seriously, it looks like a Hopi ceremonial doll come to life.
11. This dress happened.
Someone promoting a film produced by Paramount NEEDS to wear this to the Oscars, right? Let’s all just put that out into the universe and see what happens.
12. This creepy dude walked.
He must be friends with Norman Bates’ and Little Edie’s kid.
13. Unibrows made a strong beauty statement for both men and women.
Strong like hot limburger cheese!
14. Returning to Game of Thrones for a moment, Melisandre made an appearance.
15. As did the ghost of David Bowie.
Oh you pretty thing!
16. This model had a third eye implanted into her forehead that looked almost as dead and vacant as her real eyes.
17. And here’s another guy definitely on the hunt for his next kill with Little Edie’s kid.
They’re like a gang or something.
And there you have it! I mean, that’s not everything. The show was freaking massive — I’m talking like 90 looks — but the human mind can only take in so much in a single sitting.
What does it all mean? I don’t know and, honestly, I don’t want to know. Gucci is just Gucci. It’s weird. It’s wonderful. It’s whacked the fuck out.
57 comments
whacked the fuck out is right.
That one the writer referred to as David Bowie looked like Bowie and Christopher Walken had a wild weekend.
3.5 stars for acting. Models, i did not see any.
Best fashion show review Ever. Truly made my day.
I’d have to agree. 😅
Agreed
Agree. The writer is hilarious!
Agreed, Amazing show!
Gucci has out Vetements Vetements in their game.. Go Alessandro !
Gucci has been on the fast track of decline since Tom Ford left, this… this… is just desperate. This is only done to make headlines and click bait. Pitiful really.
100%
You my dear are so right.
The generation has changed. That is very smart to make a new looking collection like this. The old fashion gucci look is history. Welcome into the future.
Sorry, but no. This was not innovative, creative or advanced in any way. This is like the head designer of Star Wars gave a fashion show. Really like the Emperor’s New Clothing. Gucci is so iconic people are scared to say they don’t get it or it’s ugly for fear of being labeled tasteless or out of the loop.
Gucci has become the next von dutch, what a shame.
Von Dutch taken to popularity by Christian Audigier, was a retail line made by a very rude, who I met, frenchman whose specialty was clothing for the masses. Gucci a couture house, sells those individual pieces separately, and was putting on an insane show because fashion is exclusive and insane, especially when catering to people who drop 3000 dollars for a scarf and upwards from 15,000 on an outfit.
Just to clarify, Gucci is ready-to-wear. Not couture.
* Von Dutch, brought to popularity by Christian Audigier, was a retail line made by a very rude Frenchman, whom I met, whose speciality was clothing for the masses. Gucci, a couture house, sells these individual pieces separately and was putting on an insane show because fashion is exclusive and insane (especially when catering to people who drop 3000 dollars on a scarf or 15000 and above on an outfit.
LMAO what about that open bracket
Shock value and creative are not synonyms.
Love it all! The fashion world is about daring to be different – this collection is fun and designed to make the audience sit up and gasp. A breath of fresh air in my book (and where can I get a baby dragon???)
The only fun things I saw were a baby dragon and nipple pasties.
La parte comica della moda italiana
I used to love the Gucci styles but this is just crap. Who’s going to wear that everyday, like they did with the previous ranges?
You’ve never seen a fashion show before have you? It’s literally an art show, the majority of the clothes are not really meant to be worn every day or even worn by many people, it’s just art.
Yeah art. Like that no-talent mofo Picasso. What a fuckin joke! Some people, far too many people are merely total suckers. With too much money.
This is what happens when fashion is uninspired. If you are going to be ugly at least have some bad taste. That is better than boring no taste at all. And leave Native Americans out of it. It’s mocking their culture. Not being inspired by it.
It’s a show! It’s just not merely a fashion show. But I’m not surprised that even some people from the fashion industry won’t get it! Done are those boring cohesive, “follow the fashion rule”, generic fashion shows! Maximalism is the punk of today’s fashion! It’s either you’re into it or shut up for now. Minimalism will be back again someday. What I like about this show is it excites me thinking how I would style it myself mix matching everything again! That’s what outstanding about this collection, every piece is a work of art! Every piece can stand alone! Bravo Alessandro! Bravo Gucci!!
This article sounds like it was written by a snarky 14 year old who hasn’t a clue what couture means… much less the fact that runway does not equal ready to wear. I loved Gucci’s creativity and if you had seen the whole collection (not just the most bizarre pieces) you’d probably agree, it’s a breath of fresh air.
Or the Emperor’s New Clothing part II.
Kachina doll, cultural theft. Not fashion, not cool
pure merda
pure crap
The models look like they crawled out from under a piece of plywood in the backyard, complete with yellowed, dying grass and busy maggots.
I’m OBSESSED
The reviewer had me in stitches! Totally authentic and hilarious article. Thank you!
The Medieval Touch to it… dragons, chains, beheadings, velvet poofy sleeved dresses etc. I always said the Millennials have karma from the dark ages (Medieval) and this starts to show it.
I fucking love it.
it is a good thing a lot of them came with masks because I would not want my face associated with this hideous crap. most of it might be appropriate for Halloween but even then it is just sickening.
And Jared Leto will wear every single outfit next fall.
Came out straight from hell…
Very disappointed. What was once fashion is now becoming a circus. The Gucci statement is not of class and elegance but of cartoons. This does not depict creativity or art. Sloppily put together. Shameful for what was once the epitome of the fashion world.
Wow I am fucking crazy about this collection. And I loved this article. And yeah, this IS also how some people in the world dress. I dress like this some of the time. I see people who are dressed “like this” year round. I conned my husband into wearing a pillbox hat at YSL last night. Headed to Tokyo in three weeks — stylish boys there were already wearing zipper necklaces, 3rd eyes, viking helmets, scarf babuskas and purses w/ matching heels months before this show or the Vetements launch.
I can’t decide what I think. That’s a win. Love the very straightforward recall by author.
ROTFLMAOOOOOO !!!!!! Who in their right mind would even BUY such ridiculous garbage trying to masquerade as fashion ????? The Gucci name has gone right down the old potato chute.
This is not fashion, this is pure horror. Who the hell would ever wear such garbage?
You obviously don’t know very much about fashion. It’s an art show, don’t take it so seriously!
Number 12 have me STRoNg Jeffery Dahmer vibes…
Gave*
“16. This model had a third eye implanted into her forehead that looked almost as dead and vacant as her real eyes.”
This is marketing today. Shock value over popularity. Art over craft. Acting over reality. The models were brilliant, created exactly the look the designer wanted. I’d say the show was a great success, stirred the pot effectively. Here we are, all of us, talking about (part of) it. I love the lobotomy station…
It’s like someone hit Random a bunch of times in a video game character creator.
Go sell your crap in the middle east
Looks like World Rothschild if finally here.
Hey, I have at least three of those outfits at the bottom of my dirty clothes hamper.
Trends come and go, but what sticks in the luxury fashion industry is being innovative when it seems like everything has been done before. Alessandro Michele has brought a new life to the once traditional Gucci brand, and it’s only the beginning. He’s here to completely Guccify our life.
The work proved divisive online – but is far reaching – having been created to expand the reach of Gucci timepieces into a new audience “a wider creative community than that which traditionally locates around the world of fashion.”
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