Michelle Williams gave a genuinely candid interview to PORTER magazine’s editor-at-large, Jennifer Dickinson, for its annual “Incredible Women” issue (on newsstands December 2), where she opened up about being a single mother, the travails of dating in her mid-30s, choosing roles regardless of paycheck, and her upcoming film Manchester by the Sea. Williams, who stars on the cover of the new issue, was shot by Ryan McGinley and styled by Kate Young in an 18-page fashion spread in pieces by designers such as Gabriela Hearst, Rosetta Getty, Michael Kors, and more. (All pieces can be purchased at Net-A-Porter by scanning the item in the magazine with the site’s shopping app or through PORTER‘s digital edition, available here.) Manchester by the Sea, directed by Kenneth Lonergan and co-starring Casey Affleck, deals with the ebb and flow of grief in a story about an uncle forced to take care of his teenage nephew after his father dies. In the film, Williams plays a grieving mother, a subject matter that hits very close to home for the actress. Below are a few excerpts from Williams’ interview with PORTER, in which she reveals both her vulnerabilities and strengths as a mother, woman, and actress.
To see the full interview with, buy the latest issue of PORTER, on sale globally on December 2.
On choosing experience over salary…
“When I made Wendy and Lucy [the 2008 indie hit], I think I made something like $6,000… I had already offered my salary to the director [Kelly Reichardt]… When it came up that we didn’t have money for hair and makeup, she [Reichardt] said, ‘Can you use your salary for that?’ I was like, ‘Yeah, of course!’”
On the shock of success…
“My expectation, because of my early experiences, is failure, and so when something good happens for me, I am dazzled by it, I am like on my knees, I am just so grateful, so happy, so excited, because it’s not what I expect.”
On aging in Hollywood…
“I remember going to an audition one day and seeing two older actresses talking. They were probably the age I am now, and they seemed so ancient! I remember one of them showing the other her new headshot and saying, ‘Do you think it looks too retouched?’ And then telling a story about how she had been asked to wear a sheer shirt to an audition. I remember how critical they were about their faces, about getting older, about their kind of appeal, and I remember thinking, ‘Uh oh, I don’t want that, I don’t want to wind up there.’”
On connecting with her character Randi in Manchester by the Sea…
“I couldn’t stop crying. It’s like the darkest part of your heart, something happening to your child… She’s making a brave choice, moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day. Because it is a choice. I would exit. It would be so much easier than living with the loss.”
On life as a single mother…
“I know a handful of women in similar positions [to me], it’s kind of like a club. It’s a shitty club and we don’t want any new members… and all of the current members are exhausted. But man, oh man, it’s lifesaving to have [them].”
On getting back on the dating scene…
“Talk about a learning process. I think, God, what would I say about it? I feel really sensitive about it and certainly did not expect to be still dating at 36 with an 11-year-old. This is not what I imagined. I’m like a cat, I’m a very domestic creature. I just want to stay home and take care of people. But I’m also happy with myself and just because I might have a desire to be with someone…that won’t lead me to marry the wrong person.”
On tough love from friends…
“My friend Busy [Phillips] and her husband Marc [Silverstein] said, ‘Michelle, you’re in like a blackout zone, everybody is now partnered up and you have to wait for people to start getting divorced.’ Oh my fucking God. Are you kidding me? I’m just sitting around and waiting for marriages to crumble? Oh wow! No!”
On dealing with injustices…
“In all honesty, for pretty much everything else, I feel like I’m a believer in not fighting circumstances, accepting where you are and where you’ve been. In pretty much all senses but one. I would be able to go totally down that line of thinking were it not for Matilda not having her dad. You know that’s just something that doesn’t… I mean, it just won’t ever be right.”
On her own view of motherhood…
“Sometimes I think motherhood is really all about scheduling and cooking! It’s so different at so many stages. If you’d asked me three years ago, I would have had a very different answer. Now it’s like rainbows and unicorns and sunshine, but that’s just the place we happen to find ourselves in right now. It is ever-changing. I feel like parenting is reeling your kids out a little more every day. You keep [the line] taut so that they know you’re there, but you grow them up so that one day they can leave you.”
On finding her life complete…
“I watched [Matilda] warm in the sun, in her swimsuit, get on her bicycle and smile and wave as she rode off to go meet her friends. I went back into the house and sobbed because of this incredibly simple moment – common everyday happiness. I really felt like in that moment, like wow, we’ve done it. Not only are we OK, she’s happy. Life has brought us to a place that’s not just surviving, but thriving.”
