Hamptons

True Life: I’m a Tortured One-Percenter

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They’ve been the subject of both protests and ridicule—remember those Occupy people?—and now, an anonymous one-percenter who’s had just about enough sounds off to The Daily Summer. Meet the Hamptons social fixture with a heart—and bank account—of gold.

What’s the biggest misconception about being wealthy?
That we’re spoiled-rotten assholes—rude, entitled, self-serving, inconsiderate, and disrespectful. It’s completely the opposite! There’s a greater emphasis among us on cordiality, etiquette, social grace, and compassion. We learn it when we’re young. Our parents actually had time to instill values. Now, it’s our duty to lead by example.

So we understand you a little better…where do you fit in on the scale between Sir Ivan rich and Ron Perelman rich?
I’m probably in the financial bracket closest to André Balazs. For the record, I have more hair than Ron.

Got it! What’s the hardest thing about being rich?
Learning how to spend it well. Simply spending it is easy and tacky.

Best part?
I can afford to receive the best medical care, drive the safest car, eat the healthiest food, and be grateful about all of it. That’s what it means to live well, richly. I also provide a lot of jobs for my staff.

Does everyone secretly hate the rich?
Maybe. In my opinion, we’re discriminated against because many people feel inadequate and jealous.

Examples, please!
Taxes are the obvious answer. It’s not enough that we’re creating jobs and opportunities and paying back into the system financially—if I buy a yacht and staff it correctly, I’m providing jobs to many. And on top of that, we have to be taxed the most simply because we have more? People who have achieved a certain level of success have something inside of them—it’s pride and it’s goodness. We feel an obligation on our own to give back to our community. Why shouldn’t we be able to pick and choose what’s close to our heart? Why should we just send a check to the government?

Do you ever feel isolated?
Definitely! I cannot share some experiences or feelings with friends of different backgrounds. It’s exhausting to constantly deal with confrontation, and sometimes, it’s better to keep to yourself and stick to your own.

So do your friends’ financial situations matter to you?
No. I only care about how people carry themselves around me and my family. I am more comfortable with intelligent people. If they can create enterprise and wealth and preserve it, and take good care of their families and manage to invest in their community, they’re interesting. But that’s not a requirement—as long as they find some way to amuse me, I’m happy picking up the bill.

Have you experienced friends being used because they have a lot of money?
People with money are used to paying. And they are used to being used for a weekend here or a plane ride there. What the users don’t realize is that they don’t get away with it, and we consider them a charity case. It usually means so much to them to have photos of those moments on their Instagram accounts. The real fools are the ones who think they are taking advantage—we use them just as much, for company or for entertainment. After a few experiences, when we are done, they are dismissed and the real friends stay.

Are you a scenester or a homebody?
It’s funny—I’m middle-aged now, and I’ve changed a lot. I go out all the time, but I love hanging out with my elders, and a lot of them entertain at home. Now, when we go out in the city, we find that many of the people we meet almost purposely treat people with money like s**t. This doesn’t exist as much in places like the Hamptons or Palm Beach. Whether you earned it or someone else did, someone worked hard for this money to get to this position in life. Why don’t we deserve some recognition?

Speaking of staying home, do you ever get FOMO when you drive past Ira Rennert’s mansion
I’m pretty comfortable where I am. What would I do with a bowling alley?

Bowl?! Are you conservative or liberal?
Conservative. There is no such thing as a true liberal. All these labels are driving me crazy, to be honest.

Does the term “the one percent” bother you?
No. It’s not a small world, and it’s very few who can actually make a big difference.

Do you ever spend too much money?
Sometimes, and the reason I know I spend too much money is because I value it. I am not wasteful, and I rarely splurge.

What’s a typical day like for you?
No single day is alike. I’m open to whatever. You want to go to the Bahamas tomorrow? Let’s go! You want to go to Monaco for dinner? Let’s do it! I’m up for the adventure. I wake up late because I don’t have anything to do in the morning, and I like the night. I wake up at noon, have sex, return a few phone calls, check my e-mail, pick up my child from school, and then, there are always activities. When my kid is in bed, I have a cocktail and sit in the hot tub. Then my friends come over, and we plan something. And then sex, rinse and repeat!

How good in bed are the wealthiest Americans?
Money only buys inches in real estate. I’m just kidding! I can only speak for myself, but I can make people change religions after one night with me. [Laughs] Okay…maybe we are assholes, but in a fun way.

Eddie Roche

Eddie Roche is the Deputy Editor of The Daily Front Row/Daily Summer/Daily Hollywood

5 Comments

  1. LEG

    June 19, 2017 at 6:04 PM

    I’m not especially impressed with this interview. Several of the quotes actually offend me, such as: “But that’s not a requirement—as long as they find some way to amuse me, I’m happy picking up the bill.” And, “In my opinion, we’re discriminated against because many people feel inadequate and jealous.” I’m having trouble mustering up even a microliter of sympathy.

  2. Terri

    June 19, 2017 at 6:31 PM

    He may have money, but sadly no class.

  3. Jen

    June 19, 2017 at 6:44 PM

    Is this a joke

  4. LEG

    June 19, 2017 at 7:03 PM

    Yes, I’ve been trolled, lol!

  5. Bunnun

    June 21, 2017 at 7:50 AM

    “There’s a greater emphasis among us on cordiality, etiquette, social grace, and compassion. We learn it when we’re young.”

    “The real fools are the ones who think they are taking advantage—we use them just as much, for company or for entertainment. After a few experiences, when we are done, they are dismissed and the real friends stay.”

    Okaaaay…

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