Summer isn’t all roses and rosé—at least according to Jill Kargman, author, creator, and star of Bravo’s Odd Mom Out.
Is summer really as great as it seems on Instagram?
People filter and tweak and crop, and you can’t see their sweat or smell their BO. There’s a pernicious side to trying to project perfection and dreaminess all the time. I love wine with a sunset, but it’s all starting to look so postcardy and cheese.
Do you look forward to the season? Why or why not?
F**k no. I hate summer. I live for fall and coats and leaves and tights and boots.
How does your life change during the summer months?
I squint and wither on the vine and schvitz my balls off and wait for fall.
What’s it like to have the kids out of school?
To quote the Baroness Elsa von Schraeder in The Sound of Music but adapted for Jewy Jewsteins, “There’s a delightful little thing called sleepaway camp!”
And how does your routine change?
I sleep more, work out more, drink less, regress to early-twenties laziness…
Do any of the summer social rituals drive you insane?
Just the rat conga lines and giant postapocalyptic roaches.
What’s your idea of a perfect vacation?
No 212s anywhere near me, or a staycation with no waits anywhere.
How do your vacations play out?
This summer, it’s a road trip with the kids or an Italian exploration with Harry [Kargman, Jill’s husband].
What’s your summer wardrobe?
Little light dresses and big-ass hats.
What’s your beach routine?
I loathe the beach. I know, I’m a unicorn. But I hate it. If I have to go with the kids, I wear long sleeves and glasses and a hat and look like the angel of death.
How do you feel about your beach body?
Fine, but it’s shrouded in fabric to protect from lobster skin after even minutes of exposure. Sunblock is a hoax, and the only SPF that works for me is a building.
When are you on your best behavior?
When I’m in front of my kids.
And finally, how do you feel on Labor Day weekend?