Do you know your Perry from your Sperry, your Cittanuova from your Sotto Sopra, your Bain de Soleil from your plein soleil? Take the test!
1. What’s the best way to avoid last summer’s rosé shortage?
A. Check into Sunset Beach for the season—they replenish with Chateau Marmont’s inventory
B. Abstinence. Good for the waistline!
C. Order a few cases of the good French stuff from Domaine Franey
D. Start drinking tequila!
2. What will $3 million get you in Amagansett?
A. 1,800 square feet south of the Highway (needs complete reno)
B. A guest house on Gwyneth’s estate
C. Memorial Day to Labor Day next to Jerry Seinfeld
D. The entire inventory of Tiina the Store, $400 toy sheeps included!
3. What is a Binn Shot?
A. A drink made with last night’s leftovers
B. An insult
C. A publisher’s foray into self-promotion
D. Another way to say “Binn there, done that”
4. Who is on the cover of Hamptons’ Memorial Day issue?
A. Christie Brinkley
B. Christie Brinkley photoshopped on a horse
C. Rosanna Scotto
D. Alec Baldwin
E. Bobby Flay with new girlf
F. Stephanie March, alone
G. Gwyneth Paltrow promoting self (or Tracy Anderson)
5. What tragedy has recently rocked J.Crew?
A. Despite admirable efforts, the Elder Statesman capsule collection sold only seven units companywide
B. Jenna who?
C. The boutique on Main Street in East Hampton burned down
D. The fashion world has moved on to Madewell
6. Selfie queen Stacey Bendet averages how many Instagram self-portraits per month?
C. We got tired of counting, but it’s a lot
7. Which celeb progeny’s torso has appeared naked on the cover of Avenue on the Beach?
A. Andrew Lauren
B. Ireland Baldwin
C. Dylan Lauren
D. Pookie Burch
8. What is HomeGoods?
A. That store in Riverhead that sells lumber and nails, non?
B. Stuff my estate manager buys for me
C. A new behemoth in Wainscott from the parent company of T.J. Maxx
D. The new collection of pillows from John Derian
9. What’s the best explanation for the off-theme gowns worn by Kim Kardashian, Beyoncé, and Jennifer Lopez at the Met Ball?
A. They’re still smarting over the press Rihanna’s gown got from last year’s CFDA Awards
B. A cry for attention
C. A desire to either please or annoy Anna Wintour
D. A PR stunt to promote Tracy Anderson’s new East Hampton studio
10. What’s the latest with Cyril’s?
A. Half-priced BBCs on Thursday nights
B. Its very own taxi stand
C. A complete revamping, courtesy of Richie Notar
D. Closed until further notice. Boo!
11. Which activity is not on Joey Wolffer’s summer agenda?
A. A dozen more Styleliners
B. Waiting for baby…
C. Her first freestanding boutique
D. A new handbag line
12. Why are mobile homes in Montauk selling for seven figures?
A. They come with a standing Saturday night reservation at the Crow’s Nest
B. The interiors were designed by Delphine Krakoff
C. They’re practically (kind of) oceanfront
D. People will pay anything to inhabit the last bastion of “authentic” Montauk!
13. When is the chicest time to visit the South of France?
A. May, for the Dior cruise show
B. August, when the Russians arrive
C. July, when the French visit their homes before renting them
D. December, for the sleepiest holiday season in all of Europe
14. What is Dreesen’s?
A. The worst seafood shop on the East End
B. The best donut purveyor on the East End
C. The hottest dinner party invite on the East End
D. The new roadside motel in Wainscott
15. What do the new noise restrictions at the East Hampton Airport really mean?
A. Taking the copter out East: No longer an option
B. Ira Rennert is building his own heliport
C. You’ll fly into Southampton
D. Neighboring property values: through the roof!
Answers: 1. D; 2. A; 3. C; 4. G; 5. C; 6. C; 7. A & C; 8. C; 9. B; 10. D; 11. A; 12. C; 13. C; 14. B; 15. C
0–5 CORRECT ANSWERS: YOU ARE…THE HAMPTON BEE
A newbie to the East End? Welcome! You have much to learn, but we j’adore your enthusiasm.
5–10 CORRECT ANSWERS: YOU ARE…CURBED HAMPTONS
Your obsession totale with real estate is all well and good, but your style savvy is looking a bit rusty. Study these pages, and we will test you again come Labor Day.
10–15 CORRECT ANSWERS: YOU ARE…THE EAST HAMPTON STAR
Being 130 years old does confer some benefits. Bravissimo!