The Flack Files, Vol. 5: Are You a Real Friend, or a Fashion Friend?

by The Daily Front Row
Flack Files

Another Tuesday, another delicious missive from our favorite Flack! Before you delve into her treatise on friendship, make sure you’re caught up with her previous columns on fakery, bloggers, and assistants. 

Dear Fashion Friend,

I know you are trapped in the torrent of kissing the right cheeks at Art Basel right now, but I have something to get off my chest. While I’m aware that our industry is built on its share of fakery, I pride myself on having forged some Real Friends in this fashion fray—people who are markedly different than Fashion Friends. So which one are you? Here’s a quiz to shed some enlightenment! Cue the eternally relevant, albeit slightly altered, words of Carly Simon: You’re so vain, you probably think this quiz is about you…

While attending a fashion event, you:
A) Quickly circulate then stand in the corner with me, scope the hot waiters and get prime real estate for first dibs on the hors d’oeuvres. Avoid BFA like the plague.
B) Beg me to talk to the event PRs to get a pic together on the red carpet. When I make this miracle happen, tell me you realized it’s actually better for your brand if you are photographed alone.

There’s a milestone birthday approaching and you want to celebrate. The plan is:
A) Invite your 5 besties to dinner at Dirty French followed by cocktails at Tijuana Picnic with the full squad.
B) Plan a lavish trip to Tulum, invite chicsters who barely respond to your emails, conveniently forget your roommates. Ask me to come (I’m flattered!) but then make it abundantly clear you only extended the invite so I can get you a 20 percent resort discount. Later, force me to pitch the photos for a Fashionable Life feature, ignore me for 3 weeks when the editor declines.

Your college friend is featured in Off Duty for her new collection of clothing. You, a handbag designer, write her to say:
A) Congratulations – I wish you all the success in the world, fingers crossed this means lots of sales. Let’s grab drinks to celebrate!
B) Saw your piece in WSJ, the line looks, um, interesting. Didn’t I give you that contact intro and you have yet to give me anything? It was always hard for you to help others. But if you ever have an event or want me to wear something with my cool friends, let me know!

I send you a tear-stained email about swirling family tensions thanks to my nephew who announced at Thanksgiving that he’s trans. Your response is:
A) I’m on my way over with a bucket of Chinese and a case of Pinot Noir.
B) Radio silence. But you respond to several other emails sent both before and after my meltdown. Later write me for a pep talk because you don’t feel prominent enough in the CFDA.

Mostly A’s: Real Friend. Total gem alert!
Mostly B’s: Time to take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror. No, not to admire the effects of your latest gratis Restylane treatment, but to look deep into your soul and…oh, forget it.

Fondly,

Your Flack “Friend”

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