Correspondence We Actually Received: Gwyneth Paltrow & Hot Octopuss! Wha?

by Eddie Roche
Gwyneth Paltrow

Paltrow

“Make love, not clubs.” That’s the suggestion we got via e-mail from an anti Gwyneth Paltrow hater who is taking on the actress for…you’ll have to read on to believe it. The story isn’t really of interest to us, but the hilarity in this story pitch is beyond…  

Hi,

I hope this email finds you well. As a certain GOOP-y celeb hits our headlines this week with her latest business venture, I wanted to get in touch with a story that I hope is of interest.

British sex-toy brand, Hot Octopuss, retaliates to Hollywood starlet’s plans to turn sex-toy shop into club 

As Gwyneth Paltrow reveals her plans to turn well-known LA sex shop, Hollwood Hustler, into a swanky members-only club, serial campaigners and purveyors of sex-toys, Hot Octopuss, is calling for people the world over to boycott Gwynnie’s new venture, shunning dancing for romancing. In the hopes that she will reconsider, the brand is asking for fans to take to Twitter to voice their objection to the star’s latest enterprise using the hashtag, #MakeLoveNotClub.

Never ones to shy away from supporting a cause, the purpose-driven brand recently launched its Sex Not Stigma initiative, challenging people who are unsatisfied with their sex lives to rise up and join the new sexual revolution.

Adam Lewis, Founder of Hot Octopuss commented:

“We’re committed to making the sex industry as buoyant as possible and urge Gwynnie not to shut down one of LA’s most famous sex shops. To show the ex Mrs. Martin the power of sex toys, we’ve sent her our PULSE DUO in the hopes she’ll be inviting a different kind of member. Perhaps there will now be a conscious re-coupling on the cards. Gwyneth, join our sexual revolution and make love, not clubs.”

If you’d like any additional info on Hot Octopuss, please do not hesitate to get in touch.

Best,
[Redacted]

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