Muscling your closet into shape doesn’t mean you’re ready for the front row. Let’s test your fitness, shall we?
1. To celebrate his fortieth this August, Riccardo Tisci…
A. Trademarked his salt-and-pepper stubble.
B. Binge-watched Ab Fab; sketched some bulky sweaters.
C. Flew to Ibiza and partied with Kanye West, Kate Moss, and Justin Bieber.
D. Got a Givenchy ankle tat.
2. The following is an actual quote from Tavi Gevinson’s interview with New York magazine:
A. “What if I go to New York and I get caught up and I become a horrible person?”
B. “When you’re doing a magazine interview, it’s good to remember that you are not actually the center of the universe. Like, at all.”
C. “I hate being heartbroken, but who better to discuss it with than Taylor Swift?”
D. All of the above.
3. Who stars in Hedi Slimane’s latest campaign for Saint Laurent?
A. Karlie Kloss, doing the ALS ice bucket challenge
B. A fresh-faced Ryan Seacrest, in blue suede shoes
C. Courtney Love, sporting a sweatshirt that says Bangable
D. Russian model Valery Kaufman, sporting bangs
4. Cara Delevingne and Katie Grand’s Insta-famous rabbits are named…
A. Cecil and Clara
B. Karla and Karlotta
C. Fuzz Lightyear and Mr. Merkin
D. Bunny Williams and Rabbert Rabbitsteiner
5. Ryan Rafferty’s Wintour–y musical features…
A. A “Let It Be”–ish ditty about Kim Kardashian called “Let Her Die.”
B. A scene in which André Leon Talley and Anna lament the horrors of casual wear.
C. A Sally Singer–ish character with a case of the Mondays.
D. Eva Chen flashing a peace sign.
6. Vanity Fair’s International Best-Dressed List
A. Henrik Lundqvist in Ralph Lauren
B. Chris Martin in Jennifer Lawrence
C. Kate Middleton in Comme des Garçons
D. Cate Blanchett in Lululemon
7. Alexander Wang moved his show from Brooklyn back to Manhattan because…
A. Living in Brooklyn is so F/W 2014.
B. Schlepping to Brooklyn during the Polar Vortex gave us PTSD.
C. He showed at the Navy Yard and wasn’t feeling navy this season.
D. Anna said so.
8. Which of the following is Joe Zee’s actual job title?
A. Doctor of Imagination, Beats by Dr. Dre
B. Style Wizard, Google Projects
C. Editor in Chief, Yahoo Style
D. Éminence Grise, Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
9. Karl Lagerfeld has lent his name and likeness to which iconic toy company?
A. Mattel, which is releasing a Kaiser-inspired Barbie doll.
B. KidKraft, which is releasing a “Lagerfeld’s Grocery” play set.
C. PlayMobil, which is releasing “Karl’s Kastle.”
D. American Girl Doll, which is releasing a line of “Lagerfeld Muses.”
10. Why did The Times’ Vanessa Friedman become a fashion writer?
A. Because she failed her med school exam.
B. “By mistake.”
C. Because she was coaxed into it by her bestie Sally Singer.
D. She was divinely inspired by Cathy Horyn.
ANSWERS: 1. C; 2. D; 3. D; 4. A; 5. B; 6. A; 7. B; 8. C; 9. A; 10. B
All those crunches paid off! Your abs are as firm as Marc’s. Can we feel?
Long and lean, with just a touch of plush. Have you considered talking to Victoria’s Secret?
It’s called Tracy Anderson, chérie. The best $800 a month you’ll ever spend!
Tracy is only the beginning: Call up André Leon Talley immediatement and get the name of that Duke University médecin he touted in Vogue. No, really.